In Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, he shares what he and these couples have learned from experience. Among the twelve things you should know: that being in love is not enough to make a successful marriage, that romantic love has two stages (and how to make the transition), that mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic, and that personality profoundly affects behavior.

The stakes on marriage are high, but the rewards of preparing are even higher. Whether you’re single or dating, this can be your relationship blueprint and help you decide if and when you’re ready to tie the knot.

If you’re engaged, even recently married, it will help you examine your relationship foundation and learn the skills necessary for building a successful marriage. Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married was written to help you realize your goal of marital happiness. But don’t just listen to it—experience it. Grapple with the practical tips and ideas discussed, honestly share your thoughts and feelings, respect each other’s opinions, and find workable solutions to your differences. The more you do so, says Chapman, the more you will be prepared for marriage.